Late Show with David Letterman — Season 13

Jon Stewart and singer David Gray are tonight's guests.

The Rock and 13-year-old piano prodigy Kit Armstrong appear on tonights show.

Houston Astros pitcher (and 2006 NLCS MVP) Roy Oswalt presents the Top Ten; with a little help from Dave, Madonna rides a horse for the first time since a much-publicized incident two months earlier; Melissa Etheridge performs "I Run For Life."

Gavin MacLeod (in full Captain Steubing regalia) makes a few football prognostications; Al Franken promotes his new book; Al Green performs "Everything's Okay."

Uma Thurman and Rachel Ray appear on tonights show.

During "Audience Show & Tell," Dave meets a couple of film extras; Michael Sessions (the 18-year-old mayor of Hillside, Michigan) presents the Top Ten; Steve Martin sings with a choir and rides a motorcycle built by the Teutel boys.

Over at Hello Deli, a lady from Des Moines, Iowa correctly guesses that Rupert is singing a Toby Keith song; Joaquin Phoenix promotes Walk The Line; Trisha Yearwood performed "Trying to Love You."

Dave shocks the audience with the news that Oprah Winfrey will be a guest on the show a week from Thursday; Biff undergoes Lasek eye surgery; George Clooney promotes "Syriana."

President Bush drops by the theater but somehow gets himself locked out; in honor of Oprah's appearance next week, Dave gives everyone in the audience free vodka and Lipitor; throughout the night, Professor Robert Mundell tells Rodney Dangerfield jokes; Alan abruptly starts singing The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps."

Johnny Dark tries to sell Dave a 18-pound lobster; John Malkovich shares an amusing anecdote about his mother; race-car driver Tony Stewart plays "Joe Gibbs or Monkey?"

Dave orders some decaf coffee from Starbucks; Dave reveals the giant Oprah photo in the backdrop again, then puts a much smaller photo of Regis right next to it; Amanda Peet promotes Syriana; The Darkness perform "Is It Just Me?"

Dave participates in a Holiday toy demonstration; Biff tells "It's so cold..." jokes; Aqualung performs "Brighter Than Sunshine."

Tonights guests include Bonnie Hunt and Stephen A. Smith.

Dave explains how he ordered Sue Hum to make a cupcake costume just for heck of it; Biff reads a movie review from the newspaper; Heather Graham promotes her new sitcom; Fall Out Boy performs "Dance, Dance."

Tonights guests include Bill O'Reilly and Eric Bana.

Johnny Dark "celebrates" 39 years as a CBS page; Alan makes predictions for 2006; The Temptations perform "My Girl."

The apparent theme of the night is "Love Train"; Albert Brooks sings "Thanks to the Memories" believing that Dave is retiring; "Laguna Beach" star Kristen Cavallari promotes her new reality show.

Dave demands that the O'Jays perform "Love Train" on the show; Alan criticizes "Dancing with the Stars," then starts prancing around in a gold shirt; Scarlett Johansson (in her first appearance on the show in eight years) promotes Match Point.

Dave laments the Colts' playoff loss and teases with retirement again; Alan's alter ego "Fat Momma Kalter" storms out of the theater; Matisyahu performs "King Without a Crown."

Dave wears the skin of a roasted chicken on his head; Rupert and the models are subject to a pizza taste test; "Is This Anything?" is revived to Dave's delight; "Leyan Lo" (the new world record-holder for solving a Rubik's Cube) fails to beat his personal best and melts down onstage.

Tonights guests include Kate Beckinsale and Bob Saget.

A cop from New Jersey pleads the fifth on "Know Your Current Events"; Johnny Dark comments on Dave's heart; Charles Grodin defends his performance in the 1976 remake of King Kong.

Dave celebrates 2,500 shows at CBS with "Staffer Memories"; a recent graduate from Penn State is invited to ride a taxi pantsless; Dave and Emma Thompson instigate a pie fight.

Esteban sits in with the band; Jeff Altman shares an amusing story about Johnny Carson; Wicked Wisdom (a band with Jada Pinkett-Smith on lead vocals) performs "Something Inside of Me."

Paul does his "Carnac" homage again during "Stump The Band"; Olympic snowboarder Seth Wescott presents the Top Ten; Pat Farmer drops stale chips and dip onto 53rd Street; Train performed "Cab."

Comedian Andy Kindler reports from Super Bowl XL; Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger gets his beard shaved off by Dave and an audience member; Harrison Ford announces that he's in "a bubble of giddiness."

Biff pretends to report from the Grammys; "Stupid Human Tricks" includes a woman who whistles the theme from The Andy Griffith Show with her toes; The Beastie Boys perform "So What'cha Want" with several audience members holding handheld camcorders.

Tonights guests include Senator John McCain and Heidi Klum.

Amanda Peet and Jack Hanna are featured guests plus Peter Griffin of Family Guy presents the Top Ten!

Tonights guests include Hugh Laurie and Ne-Yo.

Tonights guests include Bruce Willis and The Strokes.

Declaring that there are "more monkeys than ever," Dave meets the 2006 monkey-calling champions; Chef Giada De Laurentiis makes veal scallops for Dave and Sarah Jessica Parker (but not Paul).

Johnny Dark gives a tour of the theater; "Will It Float?" travels to Trump Tower; Ricky Gervais promotes his new children's book; The Subways perform "Rock and Roll Queen."

Dave promises a box of Explod-O-Pop popcorn to every member of the audience; Liza Minnelli performs "I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore" to celebrate her 60th birthday; Al Lubel riffs on voting and anti-depressents.

Dave sits down with fellow talk-show host Craig Furguson. He also talks with Gilmore Girls star Alexis Bledel, and Tom Russell.

Tonights guests include Keri Russell, Brian and Tina Miser and Jerry Lee Lewis.

Dave orders a reluctant Rupert to eat at Ranch 1; "True Tales of the Late Show Interns" expose the dark underbelly of the show's goings-on backstage; Debra Messing discusses childrearing.

Dave previews some of the new TV shows premiring in the fall; Bruce Willis tries to hold his breath underwater for nine minutes; Goldfrapp performed "Lost Cause."

Tonights guests include Rebecca Romijn from "X-Men 3: The Last Stand" and The Eagles of Death Metal.

Tonight's guests include Jennifer Garner from "Alias" and Mary Cheney (author of "Now It's My Turn").

Several staffers give advice to college graduates; Martha Stewart finally opens up to Dave about prison life, Criss Angel falls into a woodchipper and survives; the Dixie Chicks performed "Not Ready To Make Nice."

Dave sends Rupert into the nearby Jamba Juice; Martin Short sings the virtues of the NSA; Biff comments on the Barry Bonds controversy; James Blunt performed "High."

Dave reveals the hot new toys for Christmas (seven months early); Jennifer Aniston dodges questions about her relationship with Vince Vaughn; Rob Zombie performs "America Witch."

Several naval officers participate in "Stump the Band"; tonight's "Immigrant Success Stories" segment fails to give a through profile to Dr. Henry Kissinger; Dave and Jesse James discuss welding.

Iraqi terrorist Abu Hamza Al-Muhajir is spotted in the audience; Robert Duvall discusses some of the movies he has appeared in and his wife�s family in Argentina; Sonic Youth performed "Incinerate."

Geoff Ogilvy, the winner of this years U.S. Open, reads tonights Top Ten List; Adam Sandler discusses fatherhood and a hilarious incident in a hotel room in Mexico; Julie Chen discusses being married to Les Moonves and the new series of "Big Brother."

For the first time in several years, Dave asks Steph/Monty to imitate her ex-boyfriend's dancing abilities; Al Gore discusses global warming and the current state of American politics; Rock Kills Kid performed "Paralyzed."

Sue Hum walks towards a camera onstage for the sole purpose of applying lipstick; Kevin Spacey shares an amusing anecdote about Courtney Love and Peter O'Toole; The Streets perform "When You Wasn't Famous."

The Family Feud board is resurrected; Dave observes film footage of a monkey undergoing a root canal; Fred Willard tells a dirty joke; Martha Wainwright performed Leonard Cohen's "Tower of Song."

Dave shows a photo of The Doors in response to a pre-show audience question; Tom Brokaw plugs his new book; Paul Simon performs "Outrageous."

Tonight's guests include Kate Hudson and Patrice O'Neal.

A man on the street showers himself under the Late Show Shower-Cam; in honor of her 85th birthday, Dorothy presents the Top Ten; Bryce Dallas Howard promotes "Lady in the Water."

Tonights guests include Uma Thurman and Morgan Spurlock.

Tonight's guests include Martin Short and Pink.

Sue Hum asks Dave if he could make change for a twenty; the show is interrupted by a phony CBS Special Report; Donald Trump is escorted onstage by four Miss Universe contestants; the Sam Roberts Band performed "Bridge to Nowhere."

Dave and Gerard discuss Christie Brinkley's divorce before the show; 2006 Tour de France winner "Floyd Landis" takes a victory lap around the theater; Shannon Eis and Dave goof around during a "New Summer Toys" segment; India.Arie performs "There's Hope."

A short comedy bit involving Dave, Sue Hum, and a bowl of gazpacho is botched; Dave examines Scarlett Johansson's teeth; the Teutel Boys from "American Chopper" show off their newest souped-up cycle, the OCC Splitback.

During "Stump the Band," an audience member completely forgets the title of his disputed tune; controversial cyclist "Floyd Landis" is beaten up by the NYPD; The Spinners perform "I'll Be Around" and "Mighty Love."

Dave reads out loud the lost letters of Albert Einstein; "Biff Henderson's 'Where Are They Now?'" looks at the late Buddy Ebsen; Tom Dreesen promotes his new one-man show and takes a few lighthearted jabs at his first wife.

Tonights guests include Jessica Biel and Christina Aguilera.

Throughout the night, a guy named Bob Zick stands over by the staircase and laughs at everything Dave says; Samuel L. Jackson stars in the much-hyped sequel "Snakes in a Deli"; elderly sock puppet expert Jack Fisette has a demonstration with Dave; Fatboy Slim performed "That Old Pail of Jeans."

Dave and Steph/Monty play stickball out on 53rd Street; Julianna Margulies discusses overcoming her fear of snakes during a filming of a certain Samuel L. Jackson movie; stand-up comedian "Andy Sansone" bombs in his alleged network television debut; OutKast performed "Morris Brown."

"Raul Castro" fields questions for the audience; Chris Elliott auditions for the CBS soap "Guiding Light," Razorlight performed "America."

An audience member compares Dave to Alfred E. Neuman; Dave and Paul play "Let's Scare the Hell Out of Rupert"; Busta Rhymes performs "Touch It, I Love My B----, New York S---."